


Keine's Class On Intellectual Property

by Pinx_B



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Prompt Fic, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 16:37:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14048397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: Deciding to freshen up her students moral compasses, Keine delivers a lesson on thievery with a few more unexpected guests..[Reader Prompt Opportunity]





	Keine's Class On Intellectual Property

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Keine pointed at the board to indicate the title that was in bold writing, ensuring that her students understood the severity of today's subject. 

 

_Why Stealing Is Bad_

 

"Now, do we all know what stealing means?". 

A few hands went up into the air which pleased the historian. 

"Wriggle?". 

"It's taking something that isn't yours" she replied diligently. 

She nodded with a smile and wrote down Wriggle's definition. 

"That is _exactly_ what stealing is. My next question is, is stealing bad?". 

"Doesn't it depend on what you're stealing?". 

"No Seija, it does not" Keine sighed as the amanojaku shrugged. 

"I'm here for the entertainment purposes so don't expect any bright ideas from me". 

Keine shot her a small glare, "How insightful. Let's get back on track. Stealing is never right". 

"But, what if you are trying to steal someone's heart?!" Mystia interjected a tad too eagerly. 

"Yeah, like Kaguya stole yours right? That's what the rabbits told me!". 

Seija snickered at the other woman's dumbfounded expression at Cirno's elaboration on that. 

"Well, that kind of stealing can be forgiven since _both_ the person stealing and the person who is being stolen from give their hearts to each other". 

Kaguya's airy voice swept into the classroom with a grinning Marisa behind her. The Princess had a hold of her arm and ushered her into the room before taking a seat at Keine desk. 

"Kaguya? Marisa? I don't quite follow what is going on". 

Kaguya smiled sweetly at the woman whilst Seija grinned at Marisa who plopped down on the chair next to her and greeted everyone. 

"Reimu insisted that I bring Marisa here. I can't imagine _why_ she would ask that" she replied with just an obvious trace of sarcasm. 

"Hey! I take offence to whatever you're hinting!". 

"Uh, right, okay. That does make sense" Keine said and went back to her notes, opting to ignore the oddity of the situation. 

At least she knew she wasn't on the receiving end of one of Yukari's games like Eirin was not long ago; in which she and Kaguya helped the youkai. 

"What is it with Princesses and all of that romantic crap, it's so-".

Keine's narrowed eyes stopped Seija's sentence as she realised her misstep, "Yeah yeah, no bad language, sorry".

"We all know ya mad cause Shinmyoumaru sent you here and you agreed cause ya don't wanna upset your Princess" Marisa laughed and hit the table with her fist at her own retort. 

"Oh shut up". 

Keine's other students were watching the antics between the two women with fixation, which worried the teacher that they were picking up on their behaviour so she hurriedly got on with it. 

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have the two in one place. 

"If you both would like to do that, it would be appreciated" she interrupted with a strained undertone, "To answer Mystia & Cirno's question, stealing hearts is absolutely fine. Kaguya was very right about her explanation" she then smiled. 

The Princess winked back and got comfy at her desk with the magician & amanojaku fake gagging as expected. 

"So, as I said, stealing isn't right and you should never let the urge to take something lure you in". 

This was said with a not so subtle aim at the blonde who decided now would be a good time to practice her whistling. 

"Lying & deceiving to steal something is also wrong". 

Kaguya couldn't help herself, "No names, 'Seija', no names".

"Eh?! What did Seija steal?" Cirno questioned with wide eyes, "What did I miss?". 

"Ha, what don't you miss" Seija smirked. 

Keine realised she had three bigger kids to look after including her own lover as she shook her head disapprovingly at Kaguya. 

"That's enough now. In rare occurrences, I understand it cannot be helped if it is in ones nature to need to steal & create havoc, however, there is always a way around this situation which I'm sure Shinmyoumaru has shown you". 

"Hmm, I wonder if I am an amanojaku.. " Marisa mused. 

The actual one scoffed, “You’d be a crappy one" she whispered beneath her breath. 

Not that it was unheard by Keine. 

"Seija..".

"Jeez, sorry!". 

Keine wondered if her patience was going to be stolen today as she brought them all back onto the topic. 

"We've confirmed that stealing is wrong so I want to give you some examples of things that can be taken".

"You mean like _taking_ Kaguya?" Seija unhelpfully suggested with a straight face. 

Marisa was almost on the floor at that one, laughing till she was red in the face as Keine was red in the face for a different reason. 

"Wait, what does that mean?" Rumia asked with a hand up. 

Wriggle was also curious, "How can Kaguya be stolen?". 

And Cirno too was just as perplexed "What is this, who's taking who where?!"

Daiyousei & Mystia were not as oblivious as their peers & blushed profusely whilst refusing to make eye contact, more so after Kaguya's retort. 

"Believe me, she takes me _so_ well" she replied with nothing but calmness and a playful tone. 

Seija had probably met her nemesis, Kaguya wasn't a Princess that could be rattled so easily. She could commend that as a fellow, double entendre spouting machine. 

Keine on the other hand was not as unflappable as she ran a hand down her face before glancing at Kaguya. 

"Kaguya, sweetheart, don't encourage her please" she asked and was met with that mesmeric bat of her eyelashes to indicate that she would behave. 

The rest of the class had settled so she continued on in hopes they wouldn't be disrupted again, though that was wishful thinking considering her guest students. 

"Some obvious examples of stealing include taking valuables like jewellery, clothes, toys as well as money". 

"Oh, and books, don't forget books!" Marisa helpfully added. 

"Yes, that is right. Which I'm sure is something Patchouli would appreciate in having returned". 

"Ah don't worry about Patchy, we've gotta sweet deal goin on!". 

"'Borrowing' books to never return them isn't a 'sweet deal', Marisa". 

Seija refrained a laugh at Keine's biting sarcasm only to wind up on the receiving end of it from Kaguya, once again. 

"Neither is stealing a Miracle Mallet" she coughed lightly. 

"For your information, I didn't _steal_ it, I was helping to use it to its full potential". 

"Tricking Shinmyoumaru into doing your deeds for you doesn't really class as helping" Keine added. 

It was the magician's turn to goad Seija now at being called out.

Rumia piped up with something she wanted to ask, "Uhm, what about food?". 

"Do you mean stealing food from humans?". 

The tiny youkai shook her head, "No no! I mean stealing _humans_ as food". 

"Huh, I like this kid's mentality" Seija said to Marisa. 

Keine sometimes let the cutesy mannerisms of the youkai mask her deadly nature & tried to respond adequately though the blonde's classmate managed for her. 

"Rumia, you can't eat people or steal them, Reimu would not be happy & would have to exterminate you" Daiyousei said gently. 

"Oh, yeah. That's true. Okay, no stealing humans!". 

Kaguya could feel her lover's relief at avoiding that awkward conversation in a much more detailed way as she thanked the fairy & continued. 

"These possessions are usually the most popular to steal but there are other items that a person can take that are not always of monetary value".

"Really?" came a collective reply from most of the students. 

"Really. Items like books, as Marisa mentioned. Art, music, scriptures, spell cards. All of these things count as theft if stolen. It is much more disappointing when it comes to these items as people put a lot of effort into creating the end product. So for someone to take it and claim it as their own is truly terrible". 

"Yeah, I would hate it if someone did that with our band's music" Mystia noted, "It's hard work to make it". 

"Exactly, some of the works people create are often made with everything they have; including patience, mistakes & frustration".

"Don't forget blood, sweat an tears" Marisa pitched in whilst rocking back on her chair, "I mean literally too. Some of the spells I made almost killed me!" she chuckled. 

Kaguya thought of Eirin's escapades in her lab and the countless of explosions that follow through.The pharmacist could certainly appreciate those sentiments she presumed. 

Keine added the suggestion to the list and then turned around to face the class, "You see, stealing does impact the person _heavily_ so a little consideration for how they feel would go a long way".

"If we wanted to borrow or use something, do we just ask?" Cirno enquired with a hand up and waving it around too enthusiastically, "Cause I wanted to borrow one of Yuuka's sunflowers!".

"Cirno, I would pay _you_ to do that". 

"Marisa, don't encourage her" Kaguya replied with Keine's earlier words teasingly, "Though, she is more or less immortal so yes, I'd pay to see that too". 

"Kaguya.." Keine chided, knowing full well that the ice fairy would do just that, "I think it's best to admire Yuuka's sunflowers without touching them. She wouldn't mind that at all".

Cirno's particular track record with the flower youkai was well known. 

"That works I guess". 

"Good. Now I have a task for you so please take out your books and stationary" she instructed, "I'd like everyone to write down a quick essay on how to deal with a person if they steal from you, just some tips" and then glanced at Marisa & Seija, "Please, refrain from violent methods as these issues can be resolved peacefully". 

"Not even danmaku?". 

"Only as a last resort". 

"What about torture?". 

"Seija, that counts as violence". 

The amanojaku grumbled something about censorship and buzz kill. 

"If there are any questions, please ask me or Kaguya".

"What about the theft of a 1000 year old sake from the moon? That would have been a good example" Kaguya said as the class buckled down with the task, Seija & Marisa opting to talk instead. 

"It would but I'd rather not give them the impression that stealing can bring together people like it did Yukari & Eirin. Speaking of which, I'd like to see you try to explain how & _why_ Yukari gets away with it" she laughed softly and took a seat next to the Princess. 

It was true that there was technically no stopping the youkai sage and as if wanting to prove a point, a small gap opened up in the air between them as a hand swiftly slid out and grabbed Keine's hat. It was swallowed into the darkness filled with eyes before the teacher could even make a grab for it, the gap tunnel sealing with a comical zip sound which she was sure Yukari was mocking her with. 

"Soo, does _that_ count as stealing?". 

Rumia's innocent enough question did nothing to conceal the irritation in Keine's aura and she took a deep breath. Kaguya knew when the woman's patience did run out and waited for the moment for it to _finally_ show whilst hiding an amused grin behind her sleeve. 

It was only a matter of time before even the most put together individuals like Keine lost it, especially when it came to the gap youkai and her endless stream of toying with Gensokyo's residents. 

"Goddamit Yukari!". 

**Author's Note:**

> Update: the problem was resolved luckily & my works were removed :3 Thanks for all the suggestions so far and I'm looking forward to this batch too!


End file.
